YOU HAVE TRANSFORMED????

 You've Modified
 

Probably all of us have heard this at some time... "You've transformed" appears to be regarded as one of the harshest criticisms out there, whether we've been the ones delivering it or the ones receiving it, and I could not be more irritated by the reputation.

Humans develop and evolve, therefore it would be a little strange if we didn't occasionally alter. I'm not the same person I was years ago, and I don't want to be, I can readily say looking back. Yes, my pals and I started to drift away when I was 14 because of "change," but change need not be a terrible thing. I wouldn't want to be the same meek, frightened 14-year-old who was hesitant to speak up for what he believed in out of concern that he would be judged. Yes, the me who grew in self-assurance and social skills alienated my old "friends," but in the end, it was for the better.

Because of this, occasionally our personalities may alter or we may no longer be a good fit for certain individuals in our life, but this should not be seen negatively. I prefer to think that everything occurs for a purpose (I've written a few pieces on it, in fact, here and here), and certainly, as you are evolving, you may grow distant from some individuals in your life. But even if it may have worked when you were different, it's ultimately for the best that you aren't together any longer if they don't like or suit the person you've become.

I am always evolving. I'm still close in age (and I'll hang onto my freshness as long as I can), I'm learning who I am every day, and if that means that I've "changed," so be it. We develop and evolve as persons, becoming the people we were meant to be. We need to stop condemning people for becoming who they are supposed to be because, in all honesty, we do enough of that to ourselves. For some individuals, that's a significant difference, and for others, that might not be at all different.

Whether we think the change is for the better or for the worse, it is their own journey, and we can keep our thoughts to ourselves. We have all seen people change, and it may be sad at times to fear you'll lose a connection or relationship. It's acceptable to distance yourself from individuals and accept that your relationship with them isn't intended to be as close as it once was. Everybody finds their people, and occasionally personalities clash—simply that's how it goes. So while you may have "changed," remember that everyone has to deal with change since it is a natural part of life.